Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
