Princesses don't give blow jobs
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
