Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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