Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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