This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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