I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
