how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
