I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
