i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
