I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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