Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
