the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
