you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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