just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
