I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
