I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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