yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
