Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am available for nakedness
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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