champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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