Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
