i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
