Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
