Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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