I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
