Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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