what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
