I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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