Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize