I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
