I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
