I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
