Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
