bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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