you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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