I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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