Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
