so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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