Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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