she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
