I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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