somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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