Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
