once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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