the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
