fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
