think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
