Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize