People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
