I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
