dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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