you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize