I heard we made out
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
