Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
