we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
