No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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