At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
