Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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