No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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