can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
